Old Love New Heart

Red HeartWhen I first saw my wife I knew right then I’d marry her. There was never a doubt. There was never any other option. It didn’t matter that I was fourteen years old and that she was twelve. We both knew. It was how it was supposed to be.

Now, kids these days. . . I don’t know what the hell’s wrong with ‘em. Fuck. I mean fuck it all to hell. You all don’t know what you feel or think. You don’t know how to commit or what commitment even is. You are all or nothing. You’re with me or against me, my way or the high way. That’s now how love works. Not Love love, anyway.

I remember when I was about sixteen years old. Maybe I was seventeen. Hell. I could have been eighteen. Fuck. No. That’s not right. I was sixteen when I told her. I told my wife that I was going into the army. There was just no way around it. My dad was in the army. My granddad was in the army. My great granddad was in the army back in Ireland. I’m from a military family. So I was going into the military. I am the Army’s man, I said.

Now, there is something to be said about Irish women. Fuck. They are something else. Fire in the soul and more stubborn than an ass. Ha! Fuck me. That woman, she is. She was. . . She looked right back at me. She told me she was going to go to college. She was going to be a professor. Now, this didn’t happen yesterday. This was back when it was “unnatural” and all that fucking god damned bullshit. Fuck. What is wrong with people, anyway, huh? Fucking “unnatural”. Unnatural, what does it even fucking mean? Hell if I know. Hell if I give a rat’s ass.

That was it. I went into the army. I married her when she was out’a high school. She went to college. I served. She schooled. We had a family and all that shit. We were all about family planning. I mean, fuck. Do I look like I give a damn about what a church, thinks? You think I am going to let a church tell me what I can and cannot do with my wife? Fuck. Do you think, she would? My wife. She’s a woman who knows what she wants, wanted.

You know, she became a professor at George Washington University. Fuck. She was published and everything. She knows, knew, everything about books. Never read and of that shit I read. I’m so proud of her. Not that what I thought would have changed her mind. Ha! Fuck no. She would have just kept on workin’ and paid me no mind. She is, was, a damn fine woman. Damn fine.

Why is it that kids these days don’t do things separately, together? Why do you all fuck yourselves? Love and Loving, isn’t hard. You just do it. You just commit the same way you commit to all your new-fangled shit. You know, that media socializing and work. You love all the wrong fucking things. These days one person isn’t as important as everyone else. They are either more important or less important. Nothing’s equal. Nothing is the way it is. It’s always more than, less than, better than, the best, the worst, the most. Fuck. I mean really. . .  Fuck. That’s not even counting all of the should have’s, could have’s, and would have’s you all have out there.

Just do it. Just fucking love someone. Damn it. It’s really not all that hard if you have a heart.